The Heart of Forgiveness: The Greatest Gift We Can Give Ourselves and One Another

Forgiveness is not weakness.Forgiveness is not surrender.Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can offer—to others and to ourselves. It is a healing, cleansing, heart-opening practice that frees us from emotional captivity and reconnects us to love.

I learned this lesson—again—recently when I reached out to someone who had stopped speaking to me.

Okay… let me be honest.It was my brother.(And no, I won’t call any names—but he does have dimples.)

The last time he acknowledged me, he asked to be removed from our family group text. Was it a big deal? Maybe not. But with four of the thirteen Marshall children already gone—transitioned from this life to the next because of food-related illnesses—every voice we still have matters. Every message matters. Every heartbeat matters.

So yes, the group chat is important to me.Because they are still here.

Family, Laughter, and the Beauty of Imperfect Togetherness

Group texts don’t bother me the way they bother some people. They’re a reminder that the people I love are alive—and reachable. Even my oldest sister, who somehow manages to misunderstand things that don’t need an explanation, brings me joy.

“No, Frances… it’s not a video. That’s why you can’t see anything.”Or: “No, Reggie didn’t become Vice President of the company… he became Vice Chair of the committee!”

And speaking of Reggie—let me pause for a moment to congratulate my baby brother, Reginald Marshall, on being elected Vice Chair of the USDA Fruit and Vegetable Advisory Committee, appointed by President Joe Biden.We are proud beyond measure.

But let me return to why we are here…Forgiveness. Love. And Peace.

“Put a Little Love in Your Heart”

Somewhere in my spirit, I can hear Al Green singing:

Put a little love in your heart…Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand…And the world will be a better place…

Those lyrics hold more truth than some sermons.Love makes the world better—beginning with the world inside our own hearts.

Why Do We Think Withholding Love Hurts Someone Else?

I’ve always wondered why we humans believe that withholding love, peace, or communication somehow punishes the person who hurt us.

It’s like holding your breath to prove a point.All you’re doing is suffocating yourself.

Holding resentment, anger, or wounded pride does the same thing.We starve ourselves of joy, laughter, and peace—while convincing ourselves we’re protecting our hearts.

But the Creator gives us clear instructions:

“Be at peace with all.”

Not some.Not the easy ones.All.

Ouch.Guilty as charged.

Any Day Is a Good Day to Make Peace

Some people say the month of love—February—is the perfect time to reconnect and reconcile.But I say:Any day you wake up on this side of the dirt is a perfect day to repair a broken bridge.

Even if you aren’t sure how you will be received.Even if they don’t talk back.Even if they once hurt you deeply.

Do your part.Extend your hand.Open your heart.

Some people genuinely don’t know how to find their way back to peace.

And sometimes…we need to apologize for being offended.Not because we were wrong to feel hurt, but because we prolonged the hurt.

And if they lied on you?Be grateful it was a lie and not the truth.

“Somebody’s Got to Be the Lamb”

My mother used to say,“Somebody’s got to be the Lamb.”

Somebody has to be the one who chooses humility over ego.Peace over pride.Healing over history.

When we respond to negativity with more negativity, we become mirror images of the pain that wounded us.Forgiveness breaks that cycle.

Forgive Without Expectations

If you reach out to someone you’ve been estranged from, do so without expectation.Your assignment is obedience to love—not control over the outcome.

You are simply practicing the command to love those who have despitefully used you.It is a test.And with a peaceful tone and a forgiving heart, we can pass it.

As for me?I have a few more people to call.

How Is Your Peace-Work Going?

I pray for you. You pray for me. And together, we will watch the Spirit of Love shift the atmosphere—softening hearts, opening doors, and welcoming healing through forgiveness.

Peace does take practice. But the Heart of Forgiveness is always worth it.