Love Without Expectations

Pause for a breath. Let your shoulders soften. Unclench your jaw. Rest your hands where they feel at ease. Notice where love feels tight or tired. Do not judge it. Simply breathe.

In this moment, you do not need love returned to be whole. You are enough, just as you are. Take one more gentle breath. And open your heart to love without expectations.

What Loves Love When Love Is Not Loved?

Do you remember the song that says, “Love hurts”? Well, might I cheer you up? Love doesn’t hurt. What hurts are our expectations, expectations of what we believe should be returned to us because we love. The emotions attached to unmet expectations cause pain, not love itself.

When my son Brennan was an infant, I loved him with no expectations. Quite frankly, as a baby, the only things he could do were eat, giggle... and poop. And yet, my love was effortless. Unconditional. Free.

Little boys will sometimes pee in your face while you’re changing their diapers, and we still love them. Without hesitation. Without keeping score.

Brennan and I at his first swimming lesson

So why do we change? Somewhere along the way, love begins to come with a checklist, a list of behaviors, responses, affirmations that are supposed to prove that love is love.

I think it starts early, maybe with the first love note slipped to you in first grade:

What if the note said something different?

Wouldn’t that be affirming? Freeing? Instead, we learn quietly and subtly that love should be returned in a certain way. And when it isn’t, the journey of disappointment begins, all because of the most beautiful emotion we were given.

Imagine Love itself, having fun loving, until we demanded something in return and messed it all up. Awww... That’s a sad story for Love.

So let’s rewind. Let’s return to the feeling of love without expectations before expectation enters the suffocating walls of our minds.

Love should be like the sun. The sun shines on land and water, on the Arctic and the equator, on snow and desert alike. It does not ask to be appreciated before it shines.

What if we loved the same way, not because people love us back, but because our loving them becomes the sunshine in a moment of their day and our day? It is there that we find the answer to the question: What loves Love... when Love is not returned?

A Poem: What Loves Love... When Love Is Not Loved?

(This poem is from When Zora Spoke, I Remembered My Name)

What Loves Love... When Love is not Loved? By Pamela D. Marshall

A ray of sun is photosynthesis giving warmth and life to the green lush meadows.

Fermentation of the clouds delivers moisture for cells to answer their DNA assignments.

Ceaseless wind dictates the atmosphere of the seasons of beauty.

But what commands love... to love...when there is no blanket of comfort, no breeze beneath its feathers of peace?

In the fear of darkness... there is the hope of light.

But where is the hope for love in the tunnel that squeezes so tight that there is no space for the vibrations of the echoes of... I love you too?

Or... Is that Love that I feel in the coolness of the breeze, softening my soul's desire to kiss the tunnel of darkness ...commanding an aura that glows....because Love is... the nourishment For Love

Acceptance in Love Without Expectations

Love Anyway

Today, notice where love has conditions. Release the quiet expectations that say, "If I give this, I should receive that."

Love anyway... when it’s unnoticed, when it isn’t returned, when it feels vulnerable.

Not because others earn your love, but because love is who you are. It shines best when you are at peace.

Embracing Unconditional Love

As you go into this day, let your love move like sunlight, freely and without demand. Let your love move like sunlight... freely and without demand. May you release the need for love to come back in the same form you give it. Go gently. Love generously. Peace will follow.

What does love without expectations mean to you? Share your reflections in the comments below, let's inspire each other on this journey to unconditional peace.

If this message stirs something deep within you, I invite you to embrace the Go Thru It movement. Whether it's releasing the pain of unmet expectations in love, healing from past disappointments, or rediscovering your capacity for unconditional connection, there is a sacred path thru it all. And on the other side? True emotional freedom. Deep inner peace. Profound self-healing. Lasting joy.

Uncover resources to guide your own journey toward peace:

• Dive into my latest Zora-inspired book, When Zora Spoke, I Remembered My Name.

• Become part of the Go Thru It community for uplifting stories of resilience and ongoing inspiration. Sign up here.

• Schedule a speaking engagement or transformative workshop for your group or organization.

Remember, you're not walking this path alone. Let's go thru it together, forgiveness awaits, and peace is your birthright.